March 2012
family: why do you listen to the same songs over and over
me: because fuck you
I've been studying since 6.
99% of my time on Reddit, Tumblr, and Facebook. 1% of my time on physics. Finally finished my 10th problem. Time to ace this shit.
Mom: LET'S GO I'M READY
: 10 minutes go by
Mom: are you ready yet?????
Me: I've been standing at the door waiting for you for 10 minutes
Mom: Ok I just have to pee and change clothes and water the plants and feed the dogs and cook dinner and swim the english channel
2 tags
so I wonder what it's like for their kids
Daughter: But Mom I'm too lazy to clean my r-
Katniss: WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE
Katniss: I HAD TO KILL CHILDREN
Katniss: SO I THINK THAT YOU CAN
Daughter: Mom you always pull this speech on-
Katniss: CLEAN YOUR GODDAMN ROOM
Peeta: ALSO
Peeta: YOUR MOM DID IT ALL FOR THE GAMES
Peeta: SOMETIMES I WANT TO CHOKE HER OUT OF NOWHERE
Daughter: Dad why are you even-
Peeta: MY LEG IS GONEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Tumblr: Here, have some kittens...
Tumblr: Delicious food? There.
Tumblr: I bring you some beautiful, insipiring art...
Parents/Roommate/Boss: *walks into the room*
Tumblr: PORN?
Tumblr: YOU SAID PORN?
Tumblr: DID I HEAR DICKS?
Tumblr: WHAT WAS THAT DID YOU MENTION HARDCORE GAY SEX?
a romantic story →
And they lived happily ever after.
HEY CONSERVATIVES, FUCK YOU!
Woman: Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Government: No.
Woman: Well, why can't I have birth control?
Government: Because. Sex isn't for recreation. It's for procreation.
Woman: But it can help regulate my period and benefit me in other ways.
Government: Too bad.
Man: For no reason other than for recreational sex, may I have birth control?
Government: Do you have a penis?
Man: YES, YES I DO!!
Government: WELL HOWDY, VALID CITIZEN. You can buy condoms by the dozens. Here, here's a pack of special condom for "His Pleasure." Oooh, these come in different colours and flavours. Here, try these. They have ribs on them. And this one glows in the dark!! LOL OMG DICK LIGHTSABER!!
Government: But seriously, you're a man. You can do what ever you want.
Woman: But-
Government: Shut up, you sinning, freeloading whore.
Watchjonbloom:
olderpuck:
jonbloom:
the cutest bear attack ever
BRITT WE’RE GETTING A BEAR CUB. THIS IS NOT UP FOR DISCUSSION.
oh hey, i’m in my dashboard! hello there 34 thousand notes
And suddenly, after the camera goes off, mama bear charges out of the mist. FOR NARNIA
